Attachment Plan

I posted this in the Facebook group last week, but thought you might like to see it as well. 

Dear Family & Friends,
After almost three years, our precious Emily is finally coming home! We know that each of you has supported, loved and prayed for us. She has no idea what an incredible group of family and friends await her! We will be leaving on Saturday, August 23 to fly to Sofia. Our "Gothca Day" is Monday, August 25. We are asking that you keep us in your prayers while we are gone. Our prayer requests include safety, peace and comfort for Emily we learn about each other. We also pray for her health (she has severe asthma and a heart condition) as well as her eating (we hear she’s a picky eater and doesn’t eat solids). Thank you in advance for your prayers!

Our plan was to invite friends and family to greet Emily at the airport when we return. After meeting her, we have decided that she may be too shy and timid for this to be a positive experience for her so our current plan is to limit it to immediate family only. We hate to risk the progress we will have made with her for one fleeting photo opp. Taking our cues from her will be the name-of-the-game for the next several months so please watch our Facebook page and we’ll let you know if things change.

As ecstatic as we are about Emily entering our lives, it is also an uncertain time as we anticipate how she will adjust to her new family and surroundings. As many of you know, you cannot parent adoptive children the same as biological children. We want to share some information that we hope will best equip you to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation. 

Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need, communicates that need, and the primary caretaker (usually mom) meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent; the baby is hungry, cries in distress, mom nurses & calms the baby - which teaches her that this person is safe and can be trusted. By God's very design, an emotional foundation is laid in the tiniest of babies which affects their learning, conscience, growth and future relationships. The security provided by parents ultimately gives children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Obviously, children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process as the loss of a biological mother at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts. The good news is that this battle is not lost and we can now rebuild attachment and help her heal from these emotional wounds. As we hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed her, we can forge the missing parent/child bond. As this process repeats between us, Emily will be able to learn that parents are safe to trust and to love deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection and once Emily starts to establish this important bond she will then be able to branch out to other, healthy relationships. In many ways, Emily will be like other children who enter a family through birth; we will parent like other Christian families as we bring her up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord. But initially there will be a few, key differences. Because you will play an awesome and vital role in helping our Emily settle in, there are a few areas in which you can help us:

Setting Physical Boundaries - It will help us immensely if you limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with Emily. This will (for a while) include things like holding, excessive hugging and kissing. Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone - which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents. Waving, blowing kisses or high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcomed! Emily should know that the people with whom she interacts are our trusted family and friends.

Redirecting Emily - Orphans often have so many caretakers that they, as a survival mechanism, become overly charming toward all adults and may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their family unit. It may appear harmless and as if they are "very friendly" but this is actually quite dangerous for the child. As a result, until she has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct her to us if you see that she is seeking out food, affection or comfort.

Limiting New Stimuli - Specifically we will limit visitors for the first several weeks and we will limit our outings so as not to overwhelm her senses with new stimuli all at once. Additionally, since our goal is to be the only people to meet Emily’s needs during this initial time, this might mean that you won’t see us at normal functions we typically attend for a while.

To be honest, the boundaries we have set will be difficult at times for us as a family...we are social butterflies, but we have committed to give Emily the best start possible and we are confident this is it. We want nothing more than for you to be able to hold and love on Emily, but the research has shown us that this is what’s best for Emily in the long run. As we begin this new phase of our journey, please know that we appreciate you and understand that we covet your support and encouragement. Also, please don't forget to check our blog www.peskethoughts.blogspot.com for updates and pictures!

What can you do to help? Continue to support us. Encourage us through calls, texts, Facebook messages and emails. Pray for us. Bring meals (thank you to Sarah Herold for setting up a Meal Train for us! www.mealtrain.com/91g05). Wait to visit with our sweet girl until after we have had time to attach as a family. Offer to take the boys for a couple of hours and make them feel special outside of the fact that they have a new sister.

We are incredibly blessed to have so many loved ones around us; we couldn't ask for a better extended family & circle of friends for our precious Emily. Thank you so much for your love and support over the past several years. If you have any questions please feel free to ask at any time!

With much love,
Rob and Nicole Ben, Evan & Emily 

Tomorrow

I've never had trouble sleeping. Even in the most stressful situations, I can sleep to the morning no problem. Until now. Yesterday and today I woke up before 6 a.m. and my mind immediately races to the next several days. Perhaps I'll feel better after we're done packing today. 

Passing court = posting pictures!

I see I need to bring you up to speed, faithful readers (I did not promise you would be following a reliable blogger). We did pass court in July and then were told we would get the court decree we needed to allow us to travel in August. So a couple of weeks ago we waited to hear we had gotten it on the day we were told. It turns out our agency traveled tot he courts on a Monday, that Wednesday, told to come back that Friday (that brings us to last week), told to come back Monday, then Tuesday, then finally on Wednesday they were handed the precious piece of paper that needed to be sent to Emily's orphanage to prove that she is ours and we can take her out of the orphanage. So last Wednesday we were told we would be traveling tomorrow and were left to frantically find last minute plane tickets to Bulgaria. 

Well, we found them. 

They were the most expensive and worst flights I have ever seen. You know it's bad when your travel agent apologizes over and over for not being able to make it better. 

We leave tomorrow morning and right away have a 10 1/2 hour layover in Denver. Thank goodness for my friend and former co-worker, Sarah, who has agreed to pick us up in Denver, take us to breakfast and show us around. : ) It should be a nice  and relaxing day. Then we fly to Frankfurt and have another 7 hour layover before we finally fly to Sofia. 

Our trip will be a little different this time. Instead of driving to the city Emily is in, we'll be flying. So Monday morning we'll fly there, pick her up, spend the night and then Tuesday morning will fly back to Sofia. 

Tuesday we'll get her the medical appts that the US requires before she leave (she needs to be TB tested), Wednesday is a free day, Thursday we have our exit interview at the the US Embassy, Friday they hand over all our paperwork (her visa, passport, etc.) to us and Saturday morning early we start the trek home. 

It will be a whirlwind and I'm already longing to be back in the home we haven't left yet, but as hard and stressful and overwhelming as next week will be, it will be the last time we are in her birth country for a very long time and I don't want to miss a moment. 

We covet your prayers. We have so many prayer requests we don't even know how to list them all out, but God knows. He knows what we need and what we want even when we don't know how to ask. Rob has reminded me a dozen times that he has brought us this far and will see it through to the end. 

We'll try to update here as much as possible while we're gone, but our Facebook group, Peske Family - Bound for Bulgaria, is much easier to post to, so if you have Facebook, head over there. You'll get more frequent updates that way. 

CELEBRATING!

After being terribly disappointed last week after hearing from our agency that we would not make the July deadline to court to avoid being stuck in the summer break for the month of August, we just got an unexpected call from our agency that we have a COURT DATE!!!! 

Friday, July 18  

That cannot possibly be less than two weeks away. Impossible. 

She was quick to remind us that we not only need to pass court, but need the court decree (a document for the orphanage that states that we passed court and we can pick Emily up) before August 1 as well and that typically comes two weeks after court so we'll be cutting it close. Could go either way. 

No matter what, God's got this. I see the end in sight. 

For those interested in our time frames: 
Article 5 - May 16
Submitted to MOJ - May 26
Court Date issued - July 4

Looking forward to celebrating on July 18 when the official, legal, forever documents refer to our girl as Emily Anche Peske. You know though, she's been a Peske in our hearts for a long time now.

IF we pass court. IF we get our court decree the month of July. We should have Emily in our arms mid-late August. Now we need to get busy. We have a lot of work to do.

Article 5

We hit another major milestone while we were in Bulgaria. Our steps since accepting our referral have been: 

• submit i800 to U.S.
• i800 approval 
• i800 approval goes to the U.S. Embassy
• Article 5
• Minister of Justice Signature
• Court Day
• Travel Dates Issued
• Pick up trip

We received our article 5 the Friday we were in Bulgaria. This is something families are not typically in Bulgaria for and something our NGO here took care of for us. It's pretty rare that we were there for it. 

So next we'll be waiting for the signature of the MOJ. This is where we could use some prayer. Usually the wait is 4 weeks for a signature, but there are families who have been waiting since February. It is only a signature. Nothing more...she doesn't have to look over anything, she can't approve or deny...it's only a signature. Apparently she is very busy. 

We pray not only for our case, but for the other families who are waiting. This will be the big step that determines if we'll be able to get through court before the government (including the courts) go on break in the month of August and early September. We need her to sign in the next four weeks to still have hope of making it happen. 

We're ready to bring our daughter home. We have been joking that while we have been praying for our hearts to be prepared for leaving her that day, we failed to pray for the days following. I'll admit - I've been known to stare at her photo - a lot.

Saying Good-bye - Day 5

We have known all along that doing two trips was part of the deal. We have been preparing our hearts for a long time to leave her here. We both were anxious heading to the orphanage, but The Lord blessed us with a great morning with her. 

When we got there, we were invited upstairs to see where she eats, sleeps and plays. We got to take a photo of her crib. It's exactly how you would picture it, cribs packed in so tight they are touching. We saw where they shower them and the room where they play and do their therapies. We took a photo of the three of us so we could print it out when we went to have her visa taken. 

The workers didn't like what she was wearing, so they changed her clothes before we left. I think even the workers were nervous about us leaving to have her photo taken. She is very senstitive and doesn't like change. We were all happy to see that she was fine for the car ride...epecially us. When we pick her up we will have to drive four hours back to Sofia. All of us piled in a car - the caretaker had Anche on her lap, me next to her and our case worker next to me. Rob is the front and the orphanage driver...well...he drove us. I guess they have two drivers and that's all they do at the orphanage. When we got to the photo place, we went in and the caretaker held Anche up while the photographer, caretaker and our case worker all tried to get her to smile. We stayed out of the way, but I turned to Rob and asked him if he ever felt like our life was a movie. I can't explain how surreal it was to be in this run down old shop with all these people speaking Bulgarian trying to get our little Bulgarian to smile for her visa photo. Pretty sure I'm dreaming. 

It is very important to them that she smile. They don't like photos of her crying. In fact, every time she cried the caretaker felt the need to explain to our case worker so she could translate to us why she was crying. Finally our case worker told her that we are fine with the crying and that we are not concerned. 

We also had an opportunity to have our case worker tell the caretaker thank you from us and express how grateful we are for the care she is getting. The caretaker responded by saying that they are doing the best they can. 

Anche looked for us while her caretaker was holding her. and when she was down and I would hold out my arms, she would walk right in. She is ours and we cannot wait to go back to get her. We see her in our house. We see her playing with our boys. She is a part of our family now. 

When we got back to the orphanage, our case worker went to check on another child and The Lord gave us great memories of our time with Anche. She let me hold her for a long time, we rocked and I got to give her a lot of kisses. I would kiss her head and then she would look back at me and lean in wanting another one. She was trying to make the smacking noise with her lips, but couldn't quite get it out. She really looked like she was more comfortable. 

Handing her over was so hard, but necessary. Now we pray like mad that the process is smooth and quick. 

After we left Bourgas we drove back to Sophia. We stopped by the agency to pick up the person who was taking us to the new apartment. Unfortunately, our last apartment was booked and so we have to stay in an apartment that is very far from the city center. It' not a big deal. It's getting late and we're hungry and tired and they'll pick us up in the morning to take us back to the downtown area to visit the notary. From there we will likely just stay and take the subway back. And as a plus, our apartment looks like it's straight out of HGTV. 

After we had eaten dinner we walked one block past our apartment to see where the U.S. Embassy is since we have to be there at 10:30 for our visa interview tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the start of the process to get Anche's visa to enter the U.S. Naturally, I'm trying to document the whole process in photographs so without thinking about it, I took a photo of the U.S. Embassy. Right after, Rob read a sign that said there are no photos allowed. Just then we see a man walking toward us. He explained that he saw that we just saw the sign (meaning we didn't know better), but that we would have to delete our photos. I pulled out my phone and he watched me delete them. Then he told me we would have to come up so they could check out credentials. It was quite the process...about 15 minutes worth...of him talking to the guards (with machine guns) and then them having to talk to their boss inside and then their boss having to call their boss on the phone. After that we thought it was best to just go back to the apartment so I didn't get us arrested. 

 

We're Cooking Now - Day 4

We felt so much better going back to the orphanage today. Anche is doing awesome. We're learning things about her and she is slowly learning to trust us. We felt like she was already doing a couple of new things today. She was clapping and boy did Rob have her belly laughing while he was driving a little car up her leg. It seems she's quite ticklish. 

The orphanage here is very good. We've been told it's one of the best in Bulgaria. The workers are all so friendly. The director is very friendly. But we're learning the people in Bulgaria in general are very friendly. It's very similar to North Dakota EXCEPT they don't smile and say hi on the sidewalk. 

We left our blanket, photo book, doll (although she doesn't care for it), duck, recordable story book and we plan to have a photo printed of the three of us when we go to get her visa photo taken tomorrow. All of that we should get back when we pick her up. 

They asked us today what we plan to name her and they say that from now on they will call her Emily. They seem committed to the transition. We were told by our agency that they will read her the stories we gave her every day. 

At the end of our visit they told us we could go up and feed her. She did not like that idea at all. The brought her tray out to the entryway and plopped it down on a little table. It was completely out of the ordinary for her and she protested, but at least we got to see what she eats. This will help us prepare for when we go pick her up. It was all mush. It reminded us of Gerber 3rd stage foods, so we'll probably bring some of that back with us. One of the challenges we will face is not being able to prepare the foods that she is used to.  

After our morning visit we went back down to the pedestrian area at lunch and ate in a little nicer of a place. I had two small salads. I couldn't decide, so I ordered both. 

Rob had pork and we got a small bottle of wine. The manager was our server, I suppose because he is the one that speaks english, and he opened the first bottle, didn't like the cork and took it back. He came with a second bottle, which he opened, poured himself a little glass and took a taste before he poured ours. He told us to wait five minutes to let it breath and walked away. A couple of minutes later, he came back saying our wine was not good and wisked our bottle away and brought a different brand. When he took it back, Rob said, "He doesn't know we sometimes drink wine from a box." After lunch, we walked to the Turkish Bakery that is so popular among adopted families who visit Burgas. The lady didn't speak very good english, but when rob said we were looking for something sweet, she said, "Dis." And pointed to a pastry looking thing in the back. "Dis ... sugar." We bought one and walked out. When we got back to the hotel we realized it was plachenda, a German pastry my mom and her sisters make once a year around Halloween. It's pumpkin and sugar wrapped in a pastry shell. It had a sprinkle of sugar on it. It wasn't quite what we were looking for (I was thinking chocolate), but still good. 

Before our case worker picked us up, we Facetimed the boys.  We've been calling them at 3pm, which is 7am central time. It's been working out well. We have commented so many times how amazing technology is. It is so hard to believe that we have been so connected to everything at home. Having a Facebook group has been a great way to quickly update and create a memory log for ourselves. Facetime has been a great way to connect with the boys and our parents and having multiple camera options has allowed us options. With our phones we have been able to subtly take photos and videos in places where we didn't want to have the big camera out. Also, Anche was scared by the large camera and the loud clicking it made. It's worked out beautifully. 

Our afternoon visit we spent outside pushing Anche in the stroller. She is definitely more irritable in the afternoon, but we aren't there long...only about one hour. She loves the outdoors and especially loves trees and plants. We think Auntie Beth will have a lot to teach her and they will share in their love of trees. 

In the evening we walked down on the beach and picked seashells and waded in the Black Sea. It was cold, but manageable. We ate at a restaurant right by the water that was a little nicer. The food was so good and the bread here is delicious. I ordered Tarator soup which is a traditional Bulgarian cold soup made of yogurt, cucumber and dill. I have seen it in a few Bulgarian cookbooks so I figured I should try it. I'll let the pictures describe what i thought of it. The first photo is when they first brought it to me and the second is when I sent it away. 

The Warming - Day 3

Today we drove to the orphage with a lot of anxiety about the day. 

Because we've decided to be very transparent in this process, I'll be honest and say that we didn't sleep very well. We went to the orphanage on Tuesday with a plan that we would ask to monitor her in her own environment. As it turned out, we didn't need to for the reasons we thought! She cried a tiny bit when her caretaker came in and put her down and then she didn't cry again for the entire three hours. She played, she made quite a few sounds, she really warmed up to Rob. 

She loves music. I'm not just saying that. I know that's what you're thinking. She loves this little light up piano and she really loves holding a drumstick and beating on this little toy drum and xylophone. She also really loves plants like her Aunt Beth. It also seems like she's a lefty. She prefers things to be in her left hand. 

It didn't take her long to figure out Rob is fun...especially when they were jamming to Santana. She danced and danced and danced. After awhile she even let him pick her up to look out the window. She rubbed his beard a little and had a pretty surprised look on her face. 

She has the funniest expressions she makes. She has a surprised face that is pricless. Whever we've given her a stuffed animal or a doll, she gets eye level with it as if she's going to have a conversation. 

Tuesday after our morning visit we walked to the pedestrian area downtown and ate. The food here is very good and very fresh. Then we did a little shopping. We met the most entertaining shop owner in one of the pottery shops. He was so proud of his pottery and he knew very little English, but he used every bit of vocabulary he had to tell us so. He kept taking a scissors and rubbing it supper hard on the pottery to show us how strong it is. "Bulgaria pottery, no scratch. No break." We really liked him.

In the afternoon we played a little more and in the evening we walked down by the seaside. There is huge park that expands the length of the beach and there are probably 30 restaurants in the area. They all have people in them, but they are not busy at all. It's hard to believe that this many eating establishments are able to make it, but summer is coming and Burgas definitely has a lot of summer tourism. 

 

 

Meetcha Day - Day 2

It's so hard to believe the day that we have been wishing for is finally here.

Our translator/driver/case worker picked us up from our apartment in Sofia and we drove four hours across Bulgaria to Burgas. It was a nice drive. It's very beautiful here. It's green and very mountainous in some areas and very flat with farmland in others. We noticed that livestock are never on their own, they always have a shepard or two with them. They also have a lot of livestock that pull carts. 

We noticed they have the most beautiful weeds (we're guessing) in the roadside. The ditches are filled with red, yellow and purple flowers. A very pretty sight. 

On the way out of town the translator stopped at a gas station and helped me order coffee. It's very good...much stronger than in the U.S. and the cup is much smaller...maybe 8 oz. In Bulgaria, if you order coffee, you get espresso. If you want coffee more like what we have in the U.S. you order a latte or a capachino. It's still stronger, but it has milk added to it. It's very good. 

When we got to Bulgaria we drove right to the orphanage. We were so nervous. The whole experience is full of awkwardness. Being in a new country, meeting the director and communicating through a translator, asking a ton of questions and then meeting your daughter for the first time...all awkward. We got there after Anche had already gone to bed but they woke her up to bring her to see us. 

They took us to a little room next to the front door that was filled with toys and there we asked the director our questions.

I thought my heart was going to stop when there was a knock on the door and a nurse brough in our sweet Anche. She somehow looked a little older than the photos we had of her from just the month before. The nurse put her down and she started crying. I got down on my knee and touched her hand, but she wouldn't have anything to do with me. The nurse wisked her away pretty quickly, telling us we should come back after naptime at 4pm. 

Our translator took us to one of her favorite resturants and we walked downtown in a pedestrian area that was as wide as a street, but only for walking and each side was lined with shops. She told us which places she recommends for eating, dessert and for shopping. 

When 4pm came around we traveled back to the orphanage where we were met in the hallway by the nurse and Anche. She saw us and immediately started crying. The nurse told our translator in Bulgarian that I should just take her...so I did. We took her outside to the park and she was very upset. She spent a good majority of the time crying, but we would get her to quiet down for about 5 minutes at a time before she would start crying again. It was awful. She was basically inconsolable. 

The poor thing had a tough day, understandably. She was thrown into the deep end of a situation that she didn't have control over. We look different, smell different and talk different. We are different in every way that she is familiar with. 

At one point, we opened the gerber puffs and gave her a puff. Everyone told us that children in orphanages always like two things...snacks and toys that make noise. I put a puff in her mouth thinking that she would taste it, stop crying and like us. That is the exact thought that was going through my head. I was so wrong. What really happened was she freaked out that she had something in her mouth, it stuck to the roof of her mouth, she freaked out some more, she gagged on the puff, kept crying, gagged some more and then threw up on me. 

Seriously, it was a rough day, but this is the reality of this awkward situation. We left pretty defeated, but convinced that day 2 would go better. 

That night we walked down along the waters of the Black Sea. There is a gorgeous park that has dozens of resturantes and double that in the number of gelato carts. For dinner, Rob asked the waitress what she recommended for fish (after all, a person should have fish when they're so close to the ocean) and she pointed at one and said she liked it because it was fresh. What he got were a bunch of tiny fish, whole, piled on his plate. The look on his face was priceless. After he was done he used motions and gestures to find out how he was suppoed to eat it. Good thing he was right... you don't eat the head. Until tomorrow... 

Day 1

Our flight over was uneventful. We did end up running a little in the Chicago airport. When we checked in for our flight in Chicago the airline worker told us he could only find one bag in the system. We were cutting it close getting through security so he told us to go through and that he would find our bag for us and make sure it was loaded. We were so happy (and a little suprised) to see both our bags make it to Sofia. 

We used quite the methods of transportation to get to get to Bulgaria. It started on Saturday morning and went something like this: van-plane-tram-tram-train-bus-train-bus-train-train-bus-train-tram-plane-plane...and we're here!! A long day. 

After we got here on Sunday the agency owner picked us up, took us to exchange money and gave us a little tour of the area around our apartment so we would know how to get back. Very important stuff. 

After he showed us the apartment (above is the view out our window) and left, we ventured out to find dinner. He recommended this place near here so we just went there. We had shopska salad (Bulgaria is known for this) which is tomatos, cucumber, cheese w/ olive oil and spices. I've made it at home and am so excited to be eating it here in Bulgaria. We'll be doing that more this week. We also had amazing handmade pizza that had a sort of cream cheese on it with figs, I had a coke zero and Rob had a beer. Our total bill was 22 leva, which is less than $15 U.S. This was a pretty upscale place too...similar to going to eat downtown at the Peacock Alley. Food is good and very inexpesive here - it really is Rob's dream country. 

After we ate, we checked out some of the local shops and then went to catch the free Sofia tour that starts every day at 6pm. There we met another family from the U.S. who is here to meet their 13 year old daughter from another city. So nice to catch up with another adoptive family. We'll hopefully get to see them on Friday when we're all back from our trips out-of-town. 

We made it to 9pm and then crashed. Today we meet sweet Emily! The translator that is with us the rest of the week will pick us up at 8am and we'll drive four hours to Burgas where we'll stay until Thursday night. Since we won't be arriving until naptime, it is unlikely we'll meet her before 4 today (that's 8am central time). So excited to be here! 

Bulgaria or Bust

Tomorrow's our day. We'll be leaving for Bulgaria on Saturday morning at 6am and flying in on Sunday at 1pm (5am central time). 

Thoughts we're having as we prepare to leave tomorrow:

 

- We are 96% excited and 4% terrified. 

- I can't believe we will meet our daughter in four days. The magnitude of that is not lost on me. 

- Don't forget the passports.
- I hope Pitch Perfect is playing on the plane. 
- I hope the boys are good for the grandparents.

- We're going to try not to offend the locals. 

- Does Bulgaria have ice cream?

- I hope we have the timing right and the wifi capabilities to Facetime with the boys a lot. 

We absolutely value your prayers. You've carried us this far... don't quit on us now! : ) 

Can't wait to be reporting from Bulgaria. 

Nicole

 

A Little Sister

They seem so normal. 

The boys have a little sister. 

We wanted to wait until we were 100% sure she was ours before we broke the news. 

One morning before school, I held photos of her face down and close to my chest. I asked them, "Who do we pray for every night before bed?" Realizing that our list is quite long and I wasn't getting my message across, I switched tactics. 

"You know that God answers prayers, right?" 

::a lots of head nodding::

I flipped around the photos excitedly and shoved them in their faces. "Who do you think this is?" 

"Our sister?!" Ben asked tentatively. 

They both got huge smiles on their faces and spent about two minutes shuffling through the photos we have. And that was it. They promptly went back to the Pokemon they were watching on TV before I asked them to pause it. Anticlimactic. 

Ben stayed silent even at school until after the weekend was over. On Monday, Ben came home from school and said that he told his teacher and she asked if he could bring pictures the next day. 

The next day after school he reported with enthusiasm that the teacher had him tell the class about his sister, show the photos and talk about where she was from, what her name is and when she was going to come home. After he was done, she got out a map and showed the class where Bulgaria is.

God bless teachers.

We are so grateful to Mrs. Reim for allowing Ben to talk about it and for using it as a learning tool for the class.

It was different after that day. I really think it became more real for him when he got to share in his own words what is happening. Now he talks about his sister and asks questions about what life will be like after she's here. 

Evan still has no clue. All he knows is that this summer he doesn't have to take naps anymore and he get's to move in with Ben. They are so excited to share a room...I give that excitement about three weeks.   

30 days

It's a common statement to say that time is going so fast. And it is. But something tells me this month will be different. Actually, the next seven months will probably be quite different.

One month from today we meet Emily Anche for the first time and I'm wondering how fast a month can possibly go by. This past week we filled out about 10 forms for our agency, booked our flights to Bulgaria leaving on May 10 and sent our I-800 to the U.S. government with Emily's information so from the moment she steps on U.S. soil this fall, she will be a U.S. citizen. 

Several people have asked me what it was like to get THE call. 

First of all, I wasn't expecting it. If you had talked to me in the last several weeks and asked me how the adoption process was going, I likely would have given you my canned answer..."Our agency says 2014 is our year, but I just don't see how that's possible. The numbers show we'll be waiting at least another year, if not two"...yadda, yadda, yadda. 

Guess I should have trusted the agency. 

Naturally when I got the call, Rob was out of state. Ben was at school and I had taken the day off to be with Evan. He and I were at the Elks park on Washington St. and I had struck up a conversation with another mom that was there. My phone rang and saw it was our caseworker and even when there is zippo progress with your adoption, everyone knows you never silence a call from your case worker. I answered it and we made small talk about the beautiful weather and she shocked me with the news I was least expecting. She told me that she had received the referral information of a beautiful little girl that the Bulgarian government had matched us with. She told me she was about to turn two and that she was wearing a really sweet pink dress in the photo. 

I started sobbing. The lady I was talking to started staring. 

I started sobbing harder. I could tell the lady thought someone had died and was wondering if she should come put her arm around me.  

We had finally gotten our referral. 

That was the last thing I heard. 

Seriously. 

Like 10 minutes later Rob would ask
me what she said and I would have to tell him I had no idea. I didn't hear anything, all I knew is I had to get home because her photo was waiting for me on the computer. 

This is Evan at the park that day. Pretty sure my hands were shaking when I took this photo. Little did he know this was the event that secured his position as the middle child. 

It's THAT Post About THAT Call

The way I figure it, we've waited about 900 days to be able to share...

We got our REFERRAL!!

You guys,  she is beautiful and she is ours. Lots of adoptive parents told me that we would know when we found our daughter and they were right. From the second I laid eyes on her, I knew that she was a Peske. Even when we weren't sure what our international pediatrician was going to say about her medical information, we knew she was ours.

Her name is Anche (ann-ch-ae), but we'll call her Emily Anche Peske. She turned two on April 2 and she has the biggest brown eyes. We have a video of her and Rob swears she doesn't blink the entire length of the video. AND she has dark curly hair. If there was ever a "sign" that she was ours, that would be it. Imagine that...a little Bulgarian with naturally curly hair.

Unfortunately, we can show her photo to people in person all we want, but we cannot post them online (blog, facebook, etc.) until after we pass court, which is several months away.

On May 11 we'll travel to Bulgaria for a week for our first trip. After we accept our referral in person, we come home and wait 4-6 months to go through the steps we need to be able to go on our pick up trip (U.S. approval, visa, court, etc.). So it's looking like we'll head back to Bulgaria sometime in October to take our daughter out of the orphanage FOREVER. With a little luck, we should have our little Emily home for her first Christmas. God is so good. He has been faithful and his timing is perfect.

Little Emily is in Burgas, Bulgaria on the Black Sea.