He Called and We Were Reluctant

Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork. We're officially up to our heads in paperwork. Our social worker told us to try to enjoy this process because it's the last thing we'll have control over. Once our paperwork makes the long trip to Bulgaria, it's all in their hands. So I'm supposed to find comfort in that, huh? 

We just completed a nearly 20 page document (about eight questions per page) where we told the story of our lives. In fact, question number one was,"Please write an autobiography of your life." That's not intimidating at all.

We disclosed what we think of our parents (amazing), how we parent our children (with love, rules and patience) and what we think of each other (me describing Rob: loyal and impatient - Rob's take on me: kindhearted and unorganized). We think all couples should fill out these pages. We've been married nearly seven years and this totally reaffirmed the fact that we are 100% perfect for each other. Although we had severe writers cramp that lasted for days, we were thankful for the opportunity to reexamine who we are and where we have come from.

Our Calling

So while Rob continues on with more paperwork, I'll write a little more about this calling. Actually it's more about who was calling. If you haven't already done so, you can check out the family section of our blog for a few details.

I mentioned that this all began at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert before we were even married. At the concert we heard about the Chapman's amazing adventure of bringing their daughters home from China. So there the idea rested in a sort of idea-slow-cooker. After Evan was born, the idea moved from the slow cooker into the pressure cooker. What can I say? When I get something in my head, it's hard to focus on anything else.

I really believe that there are many, many issues that are close to God's heart and he singles people out to take up those causes and be His hands and feet.
Believe me when I tell you that it wasn't as easy as recognizing that calling and replying with an enthusiastic, "YES!" We obsessed over the "what ifs."

• What if our daughter comes with issues bigger than we can handle?
• What if we regret our decision?
• What if we are forced to trade our perfect life for misery?

We thought about our two boys, about the financial burden and...get this...how we probably would never get to take a trip to Disney World. Because, after all, who can afford to take four children on a plane to Disney World?!? ::sound of a screeching halt::: 

I thought it and I was ashamed. Deeply ashamed. After all, how could a good and decent person say no, not only to God's direction, but also no to a child who has no home, no family, no bed of their own. A child who doesn't even have Disney on their radar. We dream of extravagant vacations and they dream of family. Don't get me wrong, as I mentioned before we had lots of concerns, but I'll be honest and admit that there was a lot of superficial, material reasons at the root of it too.

The truth is that He does not only call us when the outcome will be easier and more comfortable than we have it now. For a long time I have prayed with all my heart that He will use me, that He will change my heart and make me passionate about the things that matter to Him. So, why am I so surprised when He answers my prayer and gives me exactly what I've asked of Him? We simply couldn't say no. Yes, we know it will be hard. Yes, we know it comes with risk. But we know undoubtedly that it will be worth it. He has promised us.

A Positive Trend

The US Department of State has published the Fiscal Year 2011 Annual Report on Intercountry Adoption.

Bulgaria report summary:

75 adoptions from Bulgaria to the US were completed between October 1,2010 and September 30, 2011.

The good news is that this is a big increase in the number of Bulgarian adoptions to the US from 40 in 2010 and only 15 in 2009!
 
I have no idea what this means for our family looking down the road since we are just beginning our process. (Governments, politicians and adoption processes can change outcomes quickly, either positively or negatively.) I don't know if it will mean we will be able to bring our daughter home much quicker, but what I do know is this is a GREAT thing for the children who are waiting and the families at the end of their journey who desperately want to bring them home. 
 
We pray for the trend to continue. God is so good.
 
A copy of the report can be downloaded on the DOS Adoption website: http://adoption.state.gov/ by clicking the link under "Latest News" on the left hand side of the screen.

It's only the beginning...

The paperwork is crazy and this is only the beginning. This is Rob signing his life away in the hopes that it will result in a daughter or two. He put it best when he said, "This is more paperwork than when we bought our house." And he was absolutely right.

A special thank you to our notary, Roxanne, and to our friend Em for finding her for us. Roxanne probably regrets being so pleasant and professional after Rob informed her we were going to come back to her every time. After 50 minutes in her office I'm pretty sure she was ready to get back to her real job.

Now on to the home study and dossier process. Don't worry - we'll make sure to take plenty more photos of us filling out paperwork. :)

So a lot of people have been asking:

Why Bulgaria?

The honest answer is that it was purely by process of elimination. We originally were drawn to Central and South America (Rob was totally ready to use his Spanish minor), but there is a lot involved when looking at countries...a lot more than you would think. First, each country has it's own list of qualifications so we had to meet their requirements first (age, years of marriage, etc.) Then we took a look at what was important to us and narrowed it down that way (length of stay in country, approx. time to referral, age of children adopted, etc.)

We seriously considered Colombia, but would have had to spend a minimum of four weeks in country to pick up our daughter...and a lot of adoptive parents were having to stay more like eight weeks. It would have been tough with two small children at home. Next, we were almost ready to go with Peru. They have a smaller wait time in-country (two to four weeks), but right before we were ready to sign on the line, we talked to one couple and the agency who explained that due to to the politics of the country, it was unlikely we would be able to get a child under the age of five. Keeping the birth order is important to us and since Evan is only 15 months this would present a timing issue. 

So somehow we were lead to Bulgaria. I don't even remember how it came about - it's a very small adoption program compared to most. They do between 40-50 adoptions to the US on a good year. But somehow we found them and fell in love with the faces looking back at us. The people of Bulgaria love grilling, pork and export a lot of wine. As Rob says, "these are our people!!"

The children are, for the most part, olive skin-toned and have dark hair and dark eyes. Don't laugh, but they look a little German. As you know, I'm very fair skinned and blue eyed...my brother is darker complected, blue eyed and I grew up listening to my mom's comments that she just KNEW if she would have had a third child they would have been dark complected, brown eyed. Well...it might not be a child...but my mom is going to get a dark hair, dark eyed grandchild. That has to be equally as good!

Our BIG news

As we were sitting down with my parents, our conversation went something like this.

Rob: So, we have big news...(and then a rushed)...but Nicole's not pregnant. 


Nicole: Yeah - so don't go telling me I look all tired. Oh, and dad...we're not getting a hunting dog either. (I think I saw his shoulders sag a little at this.) 


Rob: So Nicole's not pregnant, but it looks like Ben and Evan will be a big brothers. We've decided to...
...adopt a daughter...
...from Bulgaria...
...but we are open to adopting sisters. 

We've been in on this secret from the very beginning and yet somehow it sounded foreign even to me.

I really want to tell you the whole amazing story...how this is God's fault, how he wrecked two people who were very pleased with their comfortable life, how he opened our eyes to what a mess this world is and how he is using everything we have to bring two family members we didn't even know we had, home.

But you'll have to wait. We just wanted to share our excitement with you.  It's not a short or an easy process, but with a little prayer, sometime in the next three years there should be one or two more Peske children.

More to come...

Holy Crap!

I know that's what you were thinking when you saw a new blog entry. Well - to my four faithful followers (who have now dwindled down to just my brother) - I apologize.

So let's see...what's new in the Peske house. Well...we had another baby.

Evan is seven months old and loves his giraffe, Miss Sophie Boo-yah (pictured left), eating and his big brother.








Speaking of his big brother. He has become sort of a comedian.

For example, a couple nights ago Rob put a humidifier in Ben's room and told him it would help with his stuffy nose and cough. After praying, Rob asked Ben if he would like to ask for Jesus to heal him. Ben replied, "No. I'll just let the machine do it."

I guess it's good we have this kid in Sunday school.